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There is a widespread perception in society that a person who has used violence should be punished. This mindset tends to strain relationships and does not usually lead to the desired changes. Instead of punishment, we can focus on causes and consequences. For example, if a parent is abusive towards his or her children or partner, the result may be that the relationship with the other parent becomes even more strained or even broken. Children, on the other hand, miss their parents even when they are violent, distant or controlling. Alternatives to aggressive behaviour need to be found. The Caring Fathers: a safer life for children programme is one way of creating a safer life for children.